if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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