I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
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Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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