Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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