All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
