I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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