She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
