whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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