I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
