Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
