yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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