But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
