we made out on top of his cat.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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