Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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