C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am available for nakedness
I deserve this hangover.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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