they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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