Christians are straight up FREAKS
I heard we made out
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
