Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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