the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We left the knife in your bed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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