went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
