you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
