Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
