i can't believe i had my finger in that
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
handjob tips. give me some.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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