so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
