Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize