Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
