he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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