Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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