Your dad touched me again.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
