This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
