i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
