Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
