Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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