dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
