How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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