My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
