mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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