i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
