Your tits are I can't wait for
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
