I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
