Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
