Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i came on her dog
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
