Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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