Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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