I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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