You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
