do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
