4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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