What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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