He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Randomize
