just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
