that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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