You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
