Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
