This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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