Having a random hookup so left but love u
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
