You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
