this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
