Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
