Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
