yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
